Bond At 50: Ranking the James Bond Movies from the Best to the Worst

Here's my list.  All 22 Bond movies in order.*  If early reviews from the British opening of Skyfall are indicative, I'll have to make room near the top of the list for the latest Bond thriller.

1.  Goldfinger. (1964) The third installment in the Bond series got everything right. The girls, the gadgets, the settings, the music, the one-liners, Odd Job, Goldfinger,  and the plot to "knock off Fort Knox."  

2.  Casino Royale.  (2006) Daniel Craig's reboot of the series is spectacular. Bond is restored to his ruthless nature as a 00 agent.  The gadgets are minimal, the characters believable,  and the realistic plot drawn almost precisely from Ian Fleming's first Bond novel.  

3.  From Russia With Love. (1963) Bond really hits his stride in this second movie in the series, and Sean Connery is at his best.  All the components are there, and the plot is full of intrigue, twists and turns, but the storyline stays within reality.  Ask me on a different day, and I might rate any of the top three on top.  These three movies stand head and shoulders above the rest.

4.  Dr. No   (1962).  This movie got the series off to a great start. Exotic settings, a mysterious villain, fascinating characters ranging from the "three blind mice" to the Chinese photographer, danger at every turn, and of course Honey Ryder.  But mostly, the movie estabished Bond as something different, an 00 agent who would should a man with an empty gun when needed.

5.  Goldeneye (1995)  The first Pierce Brosnan movie was his best.  Excellent from the opening dive off a dam, to the orgasmic killer, to Bond facing a friend and former 00 agent who was now a traitor.

6.  Thunderball (1965)  The last of the really good Sean Connery Bond pics.  The opening sequence is powerful. Adolfo Celli's Emilio Largo is the best bad guy with a patch since Long John Silver.  Add in a beautiful killer, hungry sharks, and extensive underwater battle scenes, and you have a winner.  The only shortcoming was that the intricacies of the plot were at times hard to follow. You almost have to watch the movie three or four times before you understand the relationship between the dead body at Shrublands with the rest of the plot.

7.  For Your Eyes Only (1981)   Roger Moore's best effort.  The series moved away from outlandish over-the-top of Moonraker and focused on a more believable plot - recovering an ATEC devise that can signal missles on nuclear submarines.  Chaim Topol is wonderful as Greek smuggler Milos Columbo.  The scene where Bond, Columbo and Columbo's gang scales a steep cliff is one of the best of the Roger Moore era.  The movie ends as Bond throws the ATEC over a cliff to keep it from the hands of the Russians.  "Detente, comrade. You don't have it; I don't have it."

8.  On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969).  George Lazenby had the unenviable job of following Sean Connery as James Bond - sort of like following John Wooden as coach at UCLA.  Connery so defined the role that any actor would likely have fallen short.  But this is a good Bond movie. It drops the gadgets that had taken over the series and moved toward the novels and the early movies. My biggest problem is that some of the action scenes -- an avalanche, a ski chase, and the final bobsled chase - all seemed cheaply done, particularly when compared to Thunderball  and Goldfinger.

9.  "License to Kill (1989).  Perhaps the darkest of all the Bond movies was Timothy's Dalton's best.  When Bond's best friend's wife is murdered, he sets out on a personal vendetta. Though he drew criticism from many fans, I thought Dalton was an excellent Bond.

10.  Live and Let Die  (1973)  Roger Moore's initial effort was kicked off with a great theme song by Paul McCartney, great locations (New Orleans, New York & Haiti), a great boat chase, quirky villains, and Jayne Seymour as Solitaire. It signaled a "lighter" version of James Bond. Success was in the cards.
 
11. The Spy Who Loved Me   (1977)  Bond meets his near equal in Barbara Bach's Agent XXX.  The movie featured Jaws, a submarine car, a stealth boat, and a classy theme song by Carly Simon. The night scene at the Pyramids was the most frightening of the Roger Moore era.  Nobody does it better. 

12.  The Living Daylights  (1987) Timothy Dalton's first film as Bond was a throwback with less gadgets and more plot.  While some balked at Dalton's colder 007, I thought his portrayal was a throwback to Connery in Dr. No. 

13.  You Only Live Twice  (1967)  Bond finally comes face to face with his nemesis Ernst Stavro Blofeld. The Japanese location was great, as was the air battle with Little Nelly.  But even with Sean Connery in place, Blofeld's casting and makeup was a big miss, and the plot about kidnapping space ships and returning them to a secret lair inside a volcano was just too far out to place it among the better bond movies

14.  Tomorrow Never Dies (1997).  A megalomaniac media mogul tries to use a secret stolen encoder to start a world war in order to increase circulation.  It's an entertaining romp with Pierce Brosnan in his second Bond film. When the scandal around Rupert Murdock's newspapers broke earlier this year, revealing wide-spread bribing of officials and wiretapping of celebrities and the royal family, the plot seemed less far fetched.  Life, imitating art, imitating life. 

15.  The World Is Not Enough (1999)  Electra King knocks off her dad, plots to explode a nuclear bomb and kidnaps M -- not bad for the only female leading villain in any Bond movie.  
 
16.  Diamonds Are Forever  (1971).  There are some great elements in Diamonds Are Forever.  Sean Connery is back.  Shirley Bassey belts out a great theme song. Jill St. John as Tiffany Case.  Mr. Kidd and Mr. Wendt are wonderfully unusual assassins.  The Amsterdam elevator fight is one of the best in all the Bond movies.  The primary setting is in Las Vegas. It all should work.  But why didn't it?  First was the repeated "attacking the world from space plot" complete with hokey laser effects.  It didn't work the first time in You Only Live Twice. Unfortunately this plot element did live twice.  Second, there was casting Jimmy Dean as the Howard Hughs-like tycoon Willard White.  Really?  Jimmy Dean? Sausage king maybe, but not Howard Hughes.  Finally, there was the casting of Charles Gray as Blofeld. Gray was better cast as the narrator in Rocky Horror Picture Show.  

17.   A Quantum of Solace  (2010)  Following Casino Royale, this was a big disappointment.  The plot was convoluted and just didn't keep your interest. Still, like Connery, Daniel Craig is great as Bond even when the movie isn't.

18.  The Man With The Golden Gun  (1974).  This second Roger Moore offering has its moments. Saramanga, with that memorable third nipple (from the novel) was a fitting adversary for Bond.  But the whole shooting galery thing and that weird little Nick Nack were just a little too strange for me.

19.  Die Another Day (2002) Pierce Brosnan's fourth (and last) Bond movie had lots of potential.  It starts with Bond being captured and tortured by North Korea when a mission goes awry.  Add Halle Barry as Jynx, a CIA agent, and a couple of homages - one to Ursula Andress's bikini in Dr. No and a quick glimpse of Birds of the West Indies, by orninthologist James Bond - the book from where Ian Fleming borrowed the name James Bond.  But when this movie dissolves into an ice palace and invisible cars, it throws away all those great things in the first half of the movie.  Such a waste of potential.

20.  Octopussy (1983)   This is another movie that had potential but seem to fritter it away.  Maud Adams was outstanding - a near-equal of Bond - as a smuggler with her private army of beautiful women.  But any movie that ends up with suave dangerous James Bond in a clown outfit with a red nose and big feet . . .   Lets just say this - we would never see Sean Connery or Daniel Craig in a red nose.

21   View To A Kill (1985)  Roger Moore's silicon valley swansong was just awful.  Nothing symbolized how bad the movie was than the initial car chase where Bond ends up driving half a subcompact - a far cry from an Astin Martin DB5. The movie was noteworthy as the final appearance of both Moore as Bond and Lois Maxwell as Moneypenny.  Candidly, both had gotten a little long in the tooth for their roles. Despite the awful plot, the movie did feature a  wonderfully demented performance by Christopher Walken as Zorin and a powerful performance by Grace Jones as May Day.

And the WORST James Bond movie:

22.  Moonraker  (1979)  Bond in space. Ray guns. Fighting in weightlessness. And Jaws as a sympathetic, misunderstood, indeed even romantic bad guy with a heart of gold.  Whoever wrote this disaster should have never been allowed near another script.  Only saving grace - an underrated theme song from Shirley Bassey - her third and final Bond theme.    





*Eon productions only. Does not include 1967 Casino Royale or 1983 Never Say Never Again.  If included, Never Say Never Again would rank just above Man With the Golden Gun.  Casino Royale doesn't fit since it is a comedy spoof. If forced, I would place it just above Moonraker which remains the worst of all Bond films.

Bond at 50: TV, Spoofs, Lawsuits & Remakes, and How Spiderman Saved 007: The "Other" Bond Productions

The "real" James Bond movies are the Eon produced movies.  They fall within the lineage of Albert Satzman and Cubby Broccoli and are the progeny of Dr. No and From Russia With Love.

But there are three other James Bond films: one for television and two movies. And the intrigue connected with these films would make a movie by itself.

Peter Lorre as LeChiffre & Barry Nelson as James Bond (1954)

Casino Royale (1954) Climax!  This American television production stared Barry Nelson as "Jimmy" Bond and Peter Lorre as LeChiffre. The black and white production was largely forgotten until an old kinescope was found by a television historian in 1981.  As you would expect for 1950s television, it was a sanitized condensed version, though largely true to the book.  

James Bond - the television series that wasn't:  In the late 1950s, CBS contracted with Fleming to write 30 television episodes for a potential James Bond series. However the idea faded away, and Fleming used three of the scripts for his short story collection For Your Eyes Only.
 
Casino Royale (1967). Producer Charles K. Feldman had purchased the film rights to Casino Royale from Fleming. He tried to interest Eon in producing the film as part of the Bond series. When a deal could not be struck, he turned the novel into a Bond spoof.  It's a horrid spoof with Woody Allen, Peter Sellers and a host of others.  

Spiderman and James Bond: In 1999, MGM acquired the rights to Casino Royale leading to Eon's 2006 reboot of the series.  They obtained the rights making a trade with Sony -- for the rights to Spiderman.

Never Say Never Again (1983), This was a remake of Thunderball with the return of an older Sean Connery.  While it was favorably received by critics, I thought the remake was a bad idea in which its underwater scenes paled in comparison to the original, as did its villain. 

Thunderball / Never Say Never Again - The legal battle.  The legal course of Thunderball / Never Say Never Again is as convoluted as any James Bond plot.  
  
Thunderball and the super-crime organization SPECTRE, were conceived as the first effort to bring James Bond to the movie screen.  It was the product of a collaboration between five people:  Bond creator Ian Fleming, Kevin McClory, Jack Whittingham, Ivar Bryce and Ernest Cuneo, though a court decision determined that only Fleming, McClory and Whittingham would be credited.  

When the movie project fell through, Fleming used the screenplay as the basis for his novel.  McClory sued unsuccessfully to stop publication. He also sued for damages for copyright infringement. The case went to trial in England's Chancery Court.  Fleming was ill and suffered a heart attack during the trial. He settled to put the case behind him.  Fleming died 9 months later when he suffered another heart attack.

As part of the settlement, McClory was given the rights to the Thunderball screenplay. Still possessing those rights in 1983, McClory sought another payday resulting in Never Say Never Again. 

Bond at 50 - Ten Best Opening Scenes from James Bond Movies

The Jump - Goldeneye

1.  Goldeneye   The bungy leap off a towering Russian dam in nearly complete silence is simply breathtaking.  And the entire opening sequence is tense and action filled.  It sets up the entire story.  Every action movie should start this way.  (Click here for opening scene)

2.  Casino Royale  The reboot of the Bond series with Daniel Craig was set up with the dramatic backstory of the two kills that earned Bond his 00 license to kill.  It is powerful and quickly reveals the character of this new Bond.  Its a toss-up with Goldeneye for the best opening.  Note: the backstory of how Bond received his 00 is never addressed in any of the earlier Bond movies.  But the two kills are revealed in Ian Fleming's novel Casino Royale. Though the versions in the book and the movie are different, they are similar in that one was a messy kill that bothered Bond whereas the second was a quick one-shot kill.  (Click here for opening scene).

The Chute - The Spy Who Loved Me

3. The Spy Who Loved Me.  Oh no. Bond just skied off a mountain.  He's falling.  He's . . . oh my.  (Click here for opening scene)

4.  Goldfinger  Any movie that starts with Bond swimming with a duck on his head, then unzipping his wet suit to reveal a white dinner jacket is going to be good. But you know its great when he kills off his would-be assassin by throwing an electric heater into a tub, then as walks away from a towel-draped beauty sprawled on the floor, he coolly remarks, "Shocking.  Simply shocking."  (Click here for opening scene)

5.  Die Another Day.  From surfing giant waves into North Korea, to the mission gone bad, this opening leaves Bond captured by the North Koreans to be tortured.  It is a powerful opening that leads into the them song.  Unfortunately, the back half of the movie failed to live up to the great opening setup.

The Blastoff - Thunderball (artists conception)

6.  Thunderball   Giving comfort to a widow kicks into high gear when Bond, knowing its a Spectre operative in drag, delivers a solid right to the "widow's" jaw. What follows is one of the best hand-to-hand fight scenes in any Bond film.  In concludes with Bond escaping in a jet pack, then using water canons on his Astin Martin DB5 that dissolve into the watery opening credits as Tom Jones delivers the powerful theme song. (Click here for opening scene)

7.  From Russia With Love   Bond is hunting a lethal killer in the dark of night. Then . . . oh no. The bad guy killed Bond!  But no so fast.  It's Spectre Island training with live targets.

The Other Guy - On Her Majesty's Secret Service

8.  On Her Majesty's Secret Service   George Lanzenby tries to save the damsel in distress, but the bad guys get away.  Lanzenby looks into the camera and delivers his best line:  "This never happened to the other fellow."  Cut to opening credits.

9.  License to Kill   Start by Bond, in a tux, jumping out of a helicopter and tying a cable around a single engine plane.  Then Bond and friend Felix Leiter parachute in their tuxes into Leiter's wedding party. It builds the relationship between Bond and Leiter, and explains his single-minded focus on revenge when Leiter is maimed and his new bride killed on their wedding night.

10.  Octopussy.  Maybe I'm just a sucker for little planes (loved Little Nelly in You Only Live Twice).  But when Bond lifts up the tail on his horse trailer and flies out  in a pint-sized jet to do battle with bad guys, it is a classic.  And its vintage Roger Moore when the scene concludes with him landing and driving into a gas station.  "Fill 'er up, please" leads into the opening credits.  (Click here for opening scene into opening credits and theme)

Bond at 50: Five Supporting Characters That Made Bond Films Work

The James Bond films have not survived for half a century by James Bond alone.  There have been bad guys, sexy girls, and more gadgets than you can count.  But almost overlooked have been the supporting characters that have provided continuity, class and an important counterpoint to the five James Bonds. 

Here's my list of five supporting characters that have contributed so much to the success of the series.

1.  Bernard Lee - M.  The head of MI6, her majesty's secret service.  Lee played a stern, no-nonsense director who coolly dispatched Bond on his dangerous missions.  A veteran of over 100 films, Lee played the role of M in the first 11 Bond movies, transitioning from the hard-edged Dr. No to the lighter version with Roger Moore.  

Lee's last film was Moonraker.  Lee filmed the opening scenes of For Your Eyes Only, but was hospitalized with stomach cancer before filming was completed, and died in January 1981 at age 73.  The script was rewritten to show M on leave, leaving the role vacant for that film as a tribute to Lee.  The veteran actor was so perfect for the part, it is hard to imagine anyone else in the role.

2.  Judith Dench - M.  For four films, Robert Brown filled in as M, but he always seemed like that - a stand in for Bernard Lee.  But in 1995, accomplished actress Judith Dench took over the role of M, and she immediately owned the role.  As Bond's first woman boss, she was as stern and demanding as Lee's character.  But with Dench we see a personal relationship develop with Bond.  She admires him and respects him. And she appreciates the danger into which she sends him.  

By all accounts, Dench's character is at the center of the upcoming Skyfall, and rumors persist that this may be her last Bond film with hints that her character may not survive.  But regardless, Dench has been a highlight of the last seven Bond films.  Her portrayal of M has added to her stunning list of film credits and remarkable performances.

3.  Desmond Llewelyn - Q.  The Quartermaster.  The master of gadgets - and the sharp quip to put Bond in his place.  ("Oh grow up, 007").  Llewelyn's familiar face appeared more Bond films than any other actor - 17.  He started with a small role in From Russia With Love, explaining the latest attache case to Bond in M's office.  In Goldfinger, we got a full look at Q in his lab as he introduced the "other" star of Goldfinger -- the Astin Martin DB5, complete with ejector seat.  From that scene on, Q was an integral part of the Bond formula.  The character has been absence from the two Daniel Craig movies, but will return with a younger, tech-savvy Q in Skyfall.

Llewelyn died in 1999 after filming The World Is Not Enough. He was fatally injured in a car accident.  The film's closing credits contain a dedication to Llewelyn. 

4.  Lois Maxwell - Moneypenny. The "usual repartee", as M called it in Thunderball, between Bond and Moneypenny was another important part of the Bond formula, particularly in the early movies. Maxwell was perfectly cast as the secretary who always flirted with Bond, but never caught the prize. But there was always a subtle undercurrent that she did not really want Bond, and that while she flirted, she knew the dangerous business he was about.  

Maxwell played Moneypenny in the first 14 Bond films, probably extending one or two films past the appropriate age for the Moneypenny character, particularly in an awkward scene at the races in her last film, A View To A Kill. But there was more to Maxwell than Moneypenny.   Two other actresses have played Moneypenny since Maxwell, but her successors have not left an impression.  However, in the new Skyfall, the role is played by a new Moneypenny, Naomi Harris.  

After her husband's death in the late 1960s, Maxwell largely gave up acting (except for the Bond films), and returned to her native Canada, where she was a columnist for the Toronto Sun (writing under the pen name "Moneypenny") and a successful businesswoman.  She died in 2007 at age 80.

5.  Felix Leiter - played by eight actors.  For fans of the Bond novels, one of the diappointments of the Bond movies is the failure to develop the character of Felix Leiter, Bond's counterpart at the CIA.  In six of the 13 Fleming books, Leiter is a hardened ex-marine, bourbon and branch water drinking Texan who loses an arm and part of a leg in a shark attack in the second Bond book, Live and Let Die.  

The eight actors who have played Leiter are:  Jack Lord (Dr. No), Cec Lender (Goldfinger), Rik Van Nutter (Thunderball), Norman Burton (Diamonds Are Forever), David Hedison (Live and Let Die and License to Kill),  John Terry (The Living Daylights), and Jeffrey Wright (Casino Royale, Quantum of Solace). 

After an absence of some period in the films, Leiter reappears in the Daniel Craig reboot, appearing in both Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace, leading to the possibility that this relationship will develop further in the Daniel Craig Bond movies.  Leiter does not appear in Skyfall, but his absence makes sense as the plot seems to center on M, London and a homeland attack on the British Secrect Service.

Bond at 50; Best Bond Sidekicks

Bond sidekicks have come in all types, sizes and shapes - from sophisticated Ali Kerim Bey to the preposterous Sheriff J.W. Pepper.  Here's my pick for the best.



1.  Ali Kerim Bey - Pedro Armendariz. From Russia With Love.  A Mexican actor Armendariz played the Turkish patriarch to perfection.  His performance was deserving of Oscar consideration.  Kerim Bey's knowledge of Gypsies, Bulgarians, and how "the game" is played in the Balkans drives the entire movie - not to mention the memorable shooting of the bad guy as he tries to escape through Anita Ekberg's mouth.  Tragically, Bey was suffering from terminal cancer while filming the movie.  He committed suicide four months before From Russia With Love opened.





2.  Quarrel - John Kitzmiller. Dr. No.  Kitzmiller, a Michigan native, played the wily island fisherman Quarrel who takes Bond to Crab Key.  His character got the series off to a great start. Classic line delivered while wiping a smashed flash bulb from his face:  "You want I should break her arm?"  Tragedy also hit Kitzmiller, who died at age 51 only three years after the release of Dr. No.

3.  Milos Columbo - Chaim Topol. For Your Eyes Only. Greek pistachio-tossing smuggler was more memorable than most characters from the Roger Moore era.

4.   Sheriff J.W. Pepper - Clifton James.  Live and Let Die, The Man with the Golden Gun.  James "good ol' boy" sheriff added humor that helped change the entire nature of the series as it transferred from Connery to Moore. (At age 91, James is still kicking. His last movie role was in Sunshine State in 2002).

5.  Felix Leiter - Rik Van Nutter.  Thunderball.  Leiter's character was most fully utilized in Thunderball.  Van Nutter would have been great had he played this role in all the early Bond films.
 

6.  Felix Leiter - Jeffrey Wright.  Casino Royale, Quantum of Solace.  Wright appeared in the first two Daniel Craig movies, playing a major role in Casino Royale.  He seems to be developing a larger recurring relationship with Bond, similar to the the novels. However he is not listed in the cast of Skyfall

7.  Jack Wade - Joe Don Baker.  Goldeneye, Tomorrow Never Dies.  Texas swagger and CIA contacts. Baker also played the villain Brad Whitaker in The Living Daylights

8.  Tiger Tenaka - Tetsuro Tamba. You Only Live Twice.  The cool head of the Japanese Secret Service complete with his private train, ninjas and magnetic helicopter on demand.  Bond's response:  "Bird never build nest in bare tree."

9.  Felix Leiter - Jack Lord.  Dr. No  Before "Book 'em Dan-O" and Hawaii 5-0, Lord was the first to play Felix Leiter.  Producers tried to lure Lord back to play the Leiter role for Goldfinger, but he wanted near-equal billing and pay with Sean Connery.  Producers looked elsewhere, and Leiter went on to become an occasional character played by many actors.


10.  Paula Caplan- Martine Beswick. Thunderball.  Gorgeous agent lays groundwork for Bond's work in Nassau, then falls victim to Largo and his hinchman Vargus.   She earlier played one of the two girls fighting in the Gypsie camp in From Russia With Love.

Bond at 50: Best Quotes and Quips from 50 Years of James Bond Films

The Bond movies are full of quips and great quotes.  There are to many to limit this list to just 10 or a dozen, so I'm setting out a full 20.  

I prefer the quotes that show a glimpse at the hard personality of Bond as played by Sean Connery and Daniel Craig, as opposed to the more flippant comments of Bond as played by Roger Moore.  But I think there are plenty of quotes on this list for every Bond fan. 

1.  "No, Mr. Bond.  I expect you to die."  Goldfinger. Goldfinger to Bond, responding to Bond's question:  "Do you expect me to talk?" Short and to the point. Movie writing at its best.  (Click here for clip)

2.  "That's a Smith and Wesson, and you've had your six." -- Dr. No. Bond to Professor Dent , who has just fired six shots into the bed where he thought Bond was sleeping. Bond follows by a single shot kill of Dent.  This one scene really establishes Bond's 00 credentials for the movie series. This is no Cary Grant suave or Humphrey Bogart slap-someone-around tough. This is a character who will shoot someone who is unarmed when its needed. 

3.  "Now the whole world will know that you died scratching my balls." Casino Royale. Bond to LeChiffre as Bond retains his gritty unbroken determination during a horrific torture scene - maybe the most intense scene of any Bond movie to date. 

4.  "This never happened to the other fellow."  On Her Majesty's Secret Service. Bond speaking to himself (and the audience).  After the bad guys get away in the opening sequence, George Lazenby makes the comment in an obvious reference to his replacement of original Bond Sean Connery.

5. "Do you mind if my partner sits this one out?  She's just dead."  Thuderball.  Bond to strangers at table in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang Lounge after Spectre agent Fiona Volpe is shot by her own people while dancing with Bond.

6. "I must be dreaming."  Goldfinger. Bond's reaction when Pussy Galore introduces herself. Goldfinger.  (The original line in the script - "I know, but what's your name" - was scrapped by censors.

7.  "You see, we have all the time in the world."  On Her Majesty's Secret Service. Bond to police officer after murder of his wife. 

8. "One of us smells like a tart's hankerchief." Diamonds Are Forever.  Bond to sniffing rat when he wakes up inside a pipeline after coming in close contact with Mr. Kidd and Mr. Wendt.

9.  "Three measures of Gordon, one of vodka, half a measure of Kina Lillet, shaken over ice then add a thin slice of lemon peel." Casino Royale. Taken verbatim from Chapter 7 of Ian Fleming's novel Casino Royale. Note: Kina Lillet is no longer available. The available substitute is Cocchi Americano.

10.  "Well, I've heard the price of eggs is going up, but isn't that a little high?" Octopussy.  Bond's response to Megda who is relaying Kahn's offer of trading a valuable Faberge egg for Bond's life

11.  "Named after your father, perhaps?"  Diamonds Are Forever. Bond's response after a scantily clad young woman (Lana Wood) introduces herself saying "I'm Plenty O'Toole." 

12.  "Do I look like I give a damn?" Casino Royale. Daniel Craig signaled that his Bond would be different with this quick retort to the bartender's inquiry, "shaken or stirred?" 

13.  "Sounds like a French tart's nail varnish." Goldfinger. Bond's reaction to Felix Leiter when told of the name Auric Goldfinger 

14. "That's a nice little nothing your almost wearing." Diamonds Are Forever.  Bond to Tiffany Case. The rest of the scene:  Tiffany:  "I'll finish dressing"  Bond: "Oh please don't.  Not on my account." 

15. "No.  I know a little about women."  Thunderball. The concluding line in an exchange with Largo.  Bond: "That gun looks more fitting for a woman."  Largo: You know much about guns, Mr. Bond?"

16.   "I'm the money."  Casino Royale.  Vesper Lynd's introduction to Bond, who responds "Every penny of it."

17.  "Shocking.  Just shocking." Goldfinger. Bond speaking to the recently electrocuted henchman lying dead in an electrified tub in opening scene.

18.  "Dinner?  I can't. Something big's come up." Goldfinger. Bond turning down dinner invitation from Felix Leiter while Jill Masterson is draped around Bond in his bed

10.  "He always did have an inflated opinion of himself."  Live and Let Die. Bond to Solitaire after Kananga (Mr. Big) exploded from compressed air capsule.

 20.  "A genuine Felix lighter. Illuminating." Live and Let Die.  Bond's remark when he finds that the car lighter is his communication devise with CIA agent Felix Lieter.

BONUS:  It's an exchange, not a single quote. But it has been made even more significant by the Internet parodies of Bond's first meeting with Dr. No, and the introduction of the audience to SPECTRE, the mega-crime organization, the Special Executive for Counter-Intelligence, Terrorism, Revenge and Extortion. 

Dr. No.  "Specter."   
Bond:  "Spectre?"   
Dr. No: "Spectre" 

Click here for the real clip.  And click here for one of the Internet spoofs.

Bond at 50: Best Villians & Masterminds

These are the big guys.  The masterminds.  The ones who seek world domination who can only be thwarted by 007.  So who are the best of the worst, the most evil of the evil? 

Based on his performance as one of the most frightening killers ever on film in No Country for Old Men,  I have no doubt that Javier Bardem will be among the best villains ever in any James Bond movie.  But pending release of Skyfall, here is my list of the top Bond arch-villains.  

Of course Number 1 is #1 on the list. Ernst Stavro Blofeld, the mysterious sinister head of Specter. Only his cat is seen in From Russia With Love and Thunderball.  Blofeld's name and face were revealed in You Only Live Twice, but he was better as a villain when his identity was hidden.

Anthony Dawson played the unseen Blofeld

 1.  Ernst Stavro Blofeld -"?"   From Russia With Love, Thunderball.  Camera angles or curtains hid his face from view, as Blofeld delicately stroke his white cat. This early Blofeld was ruthless, cunning, and mysterious.  When he was revealed in You Only Live Twice (played by Donald Pleasance), it was a terrible disappointment, both in terms of casting and makeup. But for those two movies where the mystery was maintained, it was brilliantly sinister.   In the credits, Blofeld is listed as being played by "?"  In reality, the role was performed by British actor Anthony Dawson, who appeared on camera in Dr. No as Professor Dent,  pictured above ("You've had your six").  The voice of Blofeld, however, was dubbed by Eric Pohlmann, a native of Vienna who escaped to England just before WWII. 

2.  Auric Goldfinger - Gert Frobe (voice dubbed by English actor Michael Collins due to Frobe's heavy accent).  Goldfinger.  Frobe was perfectly cast as the gold-loving meglamaniac who drives a gold Rolls Royce and plans to "knock off Fort Knox."  Note: When the Goldfinger was released in Germany, Frobe redubbed the part so that his own voice was used.

3.  LeChiffre -   Mads Mikkelsen Casino Royale.  Benzene sniffing, blood weeping from his eye, LeChiffre was not only cruel and sinister, but also was the most believable Bond villain ever.  He was drawn almost exactly from the pages of Ian Fleming's first Bond novel, published nearly 60 years ago. 

4.  Emilio Largo - Adolfo Celi.  Thunderball.   Super cool with a patch over his eye, kissing his own ring, Largo was the most cool and stylish of Bond's adversaries.

5.  Ernst Stavro Blofeld - Telly Sevalas.  On Her Majesty's Secret Service. This was the best portrayal of Blofeld in any of the Bond movies.  It's too bad producers did not chose Savalas to play Blofeld in all of the Bond movies in which the character appeared. Fortunately Savalas was not hampered by the horrid makeup job that Donald Pleasance had to deal with in You Only Live Twice.

6.  Alex Travelyen / Janus - Sean Bean. Goldeneye.  Bond must fight one of his own, a former comrade (006) and friend who turned traitor.  He plots with a Russian general and steals Russia's Goldeneye satellite weapons system. Bond ultimately battles Travelyen, who is equally trained, high above a satellite dish. It is one of the few times when Bond has emotions other than survival as he fights the villain. 


7.  Dr. No - Joseph Wiseman. Dr. No. The mysterious Dr. No is kept that way for much of the movie.  We hear much about him, but only see him in 2 major scenes near the movie's conclusion.  But unlike the disappointment of finally seeing Blofeld, Wiseman's Dr. No lives up to all our expectation.  He is mysterious, grandiose, and so calmly in control.  Alas, Velcro had not yet been invented for his metal hands or the story might have ended differently.  Best line:  "Unfortunately I misjudged you. You are just a stupid police man" 

8. Scaramanga - Christopher Lee.  Man With The Golden Gun.  The tri-nipple killer gets a million dollars a hit.  He's cool - nearly as cool as Largo - as he plots with his new laser weapon amid the exotic islands off the China coast.  A worthy adversary.


9.  Max Zorin - Christopher Walken. View To A Kill.  Walken is a perfect mad man, laughing as he kills and willing to leave his girlfriend behind to a certain death. He just needed a better plot.  

10.  Franz Sanchez - Robert Davi. License to Kill.  This is maybe the darkest Bond movie. Sanchez is an exception to the general rule that the principal villain has henchmen who do the actual killing. Sanchez is himself a killer.  The movie opens with Bond's friend, CIA Agent Felix Lieter getting married. But Sanchez exacts cruel revenge on Lieter by killing his new bride and critically wounding Lieter.  Bond sets out on a course of revenge which ends in fiery retribution.

11.  Electra King - Sophie Marceau.  The World Is Not Enough.  Only woman on the list.  But then again, when you kill your father to take over his oil company, plan to set off a nuclear bomb in Istanbul in order to drive up the value of your oil reserves, and kidnap M, you've earned your way on to the list.

12.  Elliot Carver - Jonathan Pryce.  Tomorrow Never Dies.  Clearly inspired by media tycoon Rupert Murdock.  More than a decade later, the Daily Globe scandal that rocked the Murdock empire seemed like life, imitating art, imitating life.

Bond at 50: Dirty Dozen - The Best Henchmen Who Tried to Kill Bond

Every Bond movie has an arch villain.  But the Bond arch villain never does his own dirty work.  He always has that quirky companion to do the job.  Whether using an iron-brimmed fedora, metal dentures or just old fashioned squeeze power, these characters make the movies exciting and memorable.

 

Here's my list of the best henchmen (or henchwomen) from the James Bond movies.

1.  Odd Job - Harold Sakata.  Goldfinger.  No contest here.  Whether he was flinging his hat at a statute or a fleeing Tilly Masterson, toting a golf bag, driving a gangster to a "pressing engagement" or letting gold bars bounce off his chest, Odd Job was unforgettable - and all without uttering a single word.  His only line: pointing to a golf ball he had just dropped in a favorable lie and grunting "Ah."

2.  Rosa Kleb - Lotte Lenya. From Russia With Love.  Kleb was the nasty SPECTRE operative who tried to kill Bond in the concluding action scene by kicking him with a poisoned blade at the end of her shoe. Lenya was a noted actress, winning a Tony Award in 1956 for her role in Three Penny Opera, the only off-Broadway performance ever to win a Tony.  She was also nominated for the Best Supporting Actress Academy Award in 1961 for The Roman Spring of Mrs. Stone. She also was in the original Broadway cast of Cabaret.  Note: After appearing in the Bond film, she said that when she met new people, the first thing they did was look at her shoes.

 3.  Jaws - Richard Kiel.  The Spy Who Loved Me, Moonraker.  The metal-mouth giant assassin appeared in two movies.  He was a menacing presence in The Spy Who Loved Me, then a misunderstood giant who would rather be a lover than a killer in Moonraker.  I liked him menacing. Kiel, who is 73, most recently appeared in the Disney animated film Tangled.

4.  Grant - Robert Shaw.  From Russia With Love.  Long before setting out in search of Jaws, Shaw played a psychotic killer groomed by SPECTRE  and sent to first protect Bond, then at the right moment to kill him.  As opposed to many henchmen in the Bond films, Grant was a developed character with extensive interaction with Bond.  The fight with Bond inside the train car on the Orient Express is one of the best action sequences in all of the Bond movies.  Noted line:  "Old man."

SPECTRE agent Fiona Volpe ( Luciana Paluzzi) surprises Bond in Thunderball

5.  Fiona Volpe - Luciana Paluzzi - Thunderball  Kills equally well with a motorcycle rocket or poison gas.  She captures Bond after a romp in the sack, only to succumb to his charms on the dance floor. "Do you mind if my partner sits this one out?  She's just dead." 

6.  Xenia Onnatopp - Famke Janssen. Goldeneye.  Orgasmic killer with the leg squeeze of death.


 7.  Mr. Kidd and Mr. Wendt  - Putter Smith and Ben Glover (yep, that's their real names). Diamonds Are Forever.  Polite to a fault, obviously gay, obviously lethal.  Memorable line:  "But that would spoil the supreeeze." 

8.  MayDay - Grace Jones.  View To A Kill.  Grace Jones was the best part of this movie.  From the dramatic opening scene on the Eiffel Tower to the conclusion where, realizing that she has been abandoned by her lover Zorin, she sacrifices herself to save Bond and the world as we know it. 

9.  Tee Hee Johnson - Julius Harris.  Live and Let Die. The man with the metal arm - a malicious looking contraption which we are told was required when he lost his original arm to an alligator.


 10. Bambi and Thumper - Lola Larson and Trina Parks. Diamonds Are Forever.  In one of the more bizarre combat scenes in any of the James Bond movies - or any movie for that matter - Bambi and Thumper try to do in 007 through death by gymnastics.  


11. Baron Samadi - Geoffrey Holder   Live and Let Die.  The actor from Trinidad plays the would-be VooDoo God controlling the population for Mr. Big.  But every time I hear his laugh, I want to buy a 7-Up. 

12. Nick Nack - Herve Villechaize.  Man With The Golden Gun.  The little guy who later gained fame by shouting "De Plane.  De Plane." on television's Fantasy Island, was a creepy little sidekick would-be assassin running the sideshow-like target range for tri-nippled Scaramanga.