Bond at 50: Dirty Dozen - The Best Henchmen Who Tried to Kill Bond

Every Bond movie has an arch villain.  But the Bond arch villain never does his own dirty work.  He always has that quirky companion to do the job.  Whether using an iron-brimmed fedora, metal dentures or just old fashioned squeeze power, these characters make the movies exciting and memorable.

 

Here's my list of the best henchmen (or henchwomen) from the James Bond movies.

1.  Odd Job - Harold Sakata.  Goldfinger.  No contest here.  Whether he was flinging his hat at a statute or a fleeing Tilly Masterson, toting a golf bag, driving a gangster to a "pressing engagement" or letting gold bars bounce off his chest, Odd Job was unforgettable - and all without uttering a single word.  His only line: pointing to a golf ball he had just dropped in a favorable lie and grunting "Ah."

2.  Rosa Kleb - Lotte Lenya. From Russia With Love.  Kleb was the nasty SPECTRE operative who tried to kill Bond in the concluding action scene by kicking him with a poisoned blade at the end of her shoe. Lenya was a noted actress, winning a Tony Award in 1956 for her role in Three Penny Opera, the only off-Broadway performance ever to win a Tony.  She was also nominated for the Best Supporting Actress Academy Award in 1961 for The Roman Spring of Mrs. Stone. She also was in the original Broadway cast of Cabaret.  Note: After appearing in the Bond film, she said that when she met new people, the first thing they did was look at her shoes.

 3.  Jaws - Richard Kiel.  The Spy Who Loved Me, Moonraker.  The metal-mouth giant assassin appeared in two movies.  He was a menacing presence in The Spy Who Loved Me, then a misunderstood giant who would rather be a lover than a killer in Moonraker.  I liked him menacing. Kiel, who is 73, most recently appeared in the Disney animated film Tangled.

4.  Grant - Robert Shaw.  From Russia With Love.  Long before setting out in search of Jaws, Shaw played a psychotic killer groomed by SPECTRE  and sent to first protect Bond, then at the right moment to kill him.  As opposed to many henchmen in the Bond films, Grant was a developed character with extensive interaction with Bond.  The fight with Bond inside the train car on the Orient Express is one of the best action sequences in all of the Bond movies.  Noted line:  "Old man."

SPECTRE agent Fiona Volpe ( Luciana Paluzzi) surprises Bond in Thunderball

5.  Fiona Volpe - Luciana Paluzzi - Thunderball  Kills equally well with a motorcycle rocket or poison gas.  She captures Bond after a romp in the sack, only to succumb to his charms on the dance floor. "Do you mind if my partner sits this one out?  She's just dead." 

6.  Xenia Onnatopp - Famke Janssen. Goldeneye.  Orgasmic killer with the leg squeeze of death.


 7.  Mr. Kidd and Mr. Wendt  - Putter Smith and Ben Glover (yep, that's their real names). Diamonds Are Forever.  Polite to a fault, obviously gay, obviously lethal.  Memorable line:  "But that would spoil the supreeeze." 

8.  MayDay - Grace Jones.  View To A Kill.  Grace Jones was the best part of this movie.  From the dramatic opening scene on the Eiffel Tower to the conclusion where, realizing that she has been abandoned by her lover Zorin, she sacrifices herself to save Bond and the world as we know it. 

9.  Tee Hee Johnson - Julius Harris.  Live and Let Die. The man with the metal arm - a malicious looking contraption which we are told was required when he lost his original arm to an alligator.


 10. Bambi and Thumper - Lola Larson and Trina Parks. Diamonds Are Forever.  In one of the more bizarre combat scenes in any of the James Bond movies - or any movie for that matter - Bambi and Thumper try to do in 007 through death by gymnastics.  


11. Baron Samadi - Geoffrey Holder   Live and Let Die.  The actor from Trinidad plays the would-be VooDoo God controlling the population for Mr. Big.  But every time I hear his laugh, I want to buy a 7-Up. 

12. Nick Nack - Herve Villechaize.  Man With The Golden Gun.  The little guy who later gained fame by shouting "De Plane.  De Plane." on television's Fantasy Island, was a creepy little sidekick would-be assassin running the sideshow-like target range for tri-nippled Scaramanga.